05.07.08
senior year blues
I’m working full-time, going to school full-time, and can’t wait to be out.
Oh, the woes of a senior in high school.
However, I recieved probably the most indulgent assignment from a teacher in the history of high school:.
Memorize a poem of our choice, at least twenty lines, by any author.
I chose one of my favorites, Emily Dickinson, from Book 3: Love.
XLIV:
There is a word
which bears a sword
can pierced an armed man
It hurls its barbed syllables,
at once is mute again.
But where it fell
the saved will tell
on patriotic day,
some epaulleted soldier
gave his breath away.
Wherever runs the breathless sun,
wherever roams the day,
there is its noiseless onset,
there is its victory!
Behold the keenest marksman,
the most accomplished shot!
Time’s sublimest target
is a soul “forgot.”
04.28.08
//hard candy
This weekend was fabulous, I guess. I spent some time with my friends on Friday night at my friend Kyle’s twentieth birthday party at the ever-so-fabulous Cracker Barrel. But in all seriousness, I had a lot of fun, and the food was good. But it was just really entertaining for me to be there with a group of college age students (of course I’m the youngest and the only still in high school, so discussions on anything college-related are totally inapplicable to me) when we were surrounded by old people picking at biscuits and corn on the cob. Very, very fun.
After that, I went to a concert at the Magic Bean with Ryan, Amber, Steve, Carly, and Sam at the Magic Bean with some guys from MSU. But before the performance there was a little diddy in my evening that involved watching a live taping of A Revolutionary Talk Show with Midge Potts. It was highly entertaining, and she seems like a fantastic personality and loves to creatively present ideas and issues to the public. Midge Potts even has her own Wikipedia page. How exciting, hmm? I most certainly thought so, but listening to this awful, awful band (so sorry, but you kind of butchered a Bruce Springsteen song) while playing some crazy pool game with Carly and Ryan. Carly is so ridiculously rad–she just seems like one of those people that genuinely cares about a whole lot of people, and I can really admire that in a person. I sometimes feel like I lack so much, and I’m surrounded by people who are embracing qualities that I don’t even see in myself as a Christian, and they openly mock the religious. Being around the FSM kids is a constant reality check: back up, or take total responsibility for your actions. Atheists make incredible accountability partners, let me tell you.
After distributing some cupcakes to the fabulous FSM kids and crew, I went home and slept for a few hours before going to the Dickerson Park Zoo’s annual St. John’s Teddy Bear Rally. It was my last day at the Zoo, and I had been working there for starting my third year. I had really enjoyed it as a first job, and they really, really treated me well at the Zoo. I read a lot of books, and I made a handful of close friends at the Zoo, including some great old guys named Ernie, Joe, and Don, who were the conductors of our little train. After three years, out of a staff of about thirty, I had four “good luck”s and “good bye”s at the end of the day. I sold 1821 train tickets on Saturday, and I wasn’t even told my supervisor “good job” at the end of the nine hour day. I was really disappointed with my send off at the Zoo, but I have nothing against the little Zoo in the Ozarks.
But after the day at the Zoo, my dad and I went out to eat at Red Robin (which was a disappointment, really), and then came home to watch To Kill a King. It was a fairly decent film, but the reason why it did so poorly was because it was set, written, and shot in such a scattered fashion that you would have to know some prior knowledge to be able to follow the plot. Luckily, my father and I are kind of English history freaks, so we were able to follow along just fine. Not good enough to buy (even though my father did anyways), but it was a decent enough flick.
This morning I attended the college age Sunday school and my cousin discussed Scientology. Let me tell you, Zenu’s pretty amazing, and I’m kind of in love with the idea of an inner thetan being a little alien that was frozen and then exploded in a volcano. It’s such a cult. I really, really did try to be open minded about scientology, but the entire system of beliefs (not a religion) is a fraud and way for a handful of old men to make a whole lot of money and run away on a cruise ship. After church, I had lunch with James’ family and then went shopping with my mom, only to come home and discuss the idea of a family vacation with my parents. I really hope we don’t do anything this year.
Tomorrow is the big day, though. First day on the job at Boys and Girls Club of Springfield. I’m really excited, and really positive about my possible experience at this new job. It’ll be a fantastic way to discover more about myself and to gain some real life experience around kids being, well, kids. I can’t wait.
04.25.08
some graduation gift ideas for me
The Springfield News-Leader, our area daily publication, ran a great article today entitled:
High-End Handbags Great Graduation Gifts
In the article Amanda Kwan actually quotes Tina Craig, the handbag queen who writes BagSnob.com (and is a website that I include on my ‘life’ check every day online), and how Craig received a classic black quilted Chanel clutch and a vintage Gucci bag for her high school graduation.
I’m sure that I would enjoy owning a Chanel clutch.
Yes, I suppose I would.
04.23.08
she just won’t quit
Hillary Clinton just won’t quit.
Her victory last night in Pennsylvania by seizing the popular vote by ten points is a strong indicator that the nomination conflict between Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama will not be concluded in the near future. But now, after a seven-week struggle with the man with the million dollar smile, can the momentum continue? Hillary could come from behind and take it all, but I’m afraid her campaign is going to be bled out. Barack has millions upon millions pouring in every single month, and Hillary’s campaign is in the red, even after her twenty million dollar fundraiser last month. It’s going to be a battle until the national convention, and I’m sure it’s going to be in the battle of an Ultimate Fighting Championship or Jedi duel.
Hillary would be fierce with a lightsaber, I’m sure.
On an entirely separate note, James and I went to see Leatherheads last night, and I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t cinematic genius or something I would probably ever watch again, but it was a comedy that actually had a plot, wasn’t full of crude jokes about sex, babies, or vaginas, and the combined age of cast was over 100 years old. George Clooney’s little try at directing wasn’t a total flop like I thought it might have been, and Renee was charming in her role as Lexi. Also, practically no one was in the theatre, so I got to spread out on three seats and curl up in James’ arms. That’s the best way to experience a movie, for sure.
Maybe I should go to the movies on Tuesday night more often.
why?
Why is the First Lady of the United States co-hosting the nine o’clock hour on the Today Show? Does she have a library to build or programs to look over? Wasn’t she just a librarian and has no journalistic experience at all?
My favorite part though is, she is promoting her new book, Read All About It! Apparently even though our economy is down the drain, oil prices are soaring, and we’re still engaged in an unnecessary war five years later, the First Lady has time to write a children’s book Read All About It. Maybe all of the bills that George Bush has been mindlessly passing haven’t been engaging enough, and he’s looking for some new reading material.
January 21, 2009 can’t come soon enough, really. I become more and more disappointed in the cowboy from Texas every single day.
04.21.08
[[my boyfriend has a first name]]
This weekend had its highs and lows. On Friday night, my mother and I went to Movin’ Out, a Billy Joel inspired dance performance at Juanita K. Hammons Hall for the Performing Arts. My father would have hated every second of it, and I was really impressed by how absolutely no dialog in two hours could be so entertaining. The performers were completely invested in their roles and used their entire bodies to display an emotion until I could feel it, eighteen rows back. My father scene was “We Didn’t Start the Fire” when the stage came alive and through the use of props, lights, and fog, an avaunt-guarde Vietnam scene was set. When one of the main characters was killed in this scene, I really did feel for the character and his fiance, dancing in sorrow on the other side of the stage. I’ve never been a really big fan of ballet, but this was the closest I’ve ever seen to a modern ballet. I really enjoyed it.
On Saturday I worked at the Dickerson Park Zoo for the “Party for the Planet.” I sold train tickets, as always, and read more short stories from We are the Stories We Tell, a collection of short stories written by women since 1954. I am a huge Alice Walker fan, and her short story “The Abortion” re-solidified my pro-choice views, and how women have the ultimate choice in their destinies. I really do suggest that you read this story though after you read “Lust” by Susan Minot, a powerful story that shows the effects of viewing sex as an animalistic hobby. The plot surrounds a fifteen year old girl through her adolescence and her sexual experiences, viewing her body as an open playing field of dozens by the time she is eighteen and leaving her boarding school home. Being her age, I can identify with her and the pressures of being used as an object, but her embrace of this negative purpose leads to a destructive path. But besides the astounding and controversial (the short story is one of the most frequently banned in the US) plot, the way the story is written is breath-taking. I really, really suggest that any teenager with the slightest interest in creative writing pick it up.
But on Saturday evening, that was the highlight. I went with probably the most outspoken atheists in the Springfield area to “Expelled,” a pro-Intelligent Design propaganda film that was awful. Ben Stein set-up the most ridiculous claims and had no evidence at all throughout the entire film, and I hated it. I really did give it the benefit of the doubt until Ben Stein started saying the Darwinism led to Eugenics which led to Nazis which led to the Holocaust and Ben Stein lighting a candle in the memorial because he’s a Jew. Infuriating, yes. But the best part by far was seeing a Cafe in Paris (a few scenes were shot there) that I ate and the Eiffel Tower on the big screen. J’adore la Paris por infinite. Afterwards, I had a great discussion with the kids and went home to some James issues that were solved after some hurt and some misunderstanding. I’m so glad that we can just resolve our issues without screaming, anger, or hateful words, we can always just talk it out until we reconcile.
I’ve never been in a healthy relationship before, I think.
On Sunday morning I went to church and enjoyed the sermon and Sunday School, and of course James’ hugs, and went back to work to read East of Eden by John Steinbeck. I had a great conversation with Cathy Aimes later that night at Northside (my church) about my boyfriend and our future, and she kept her smile on and tried to put a wedge between us. I really couldn’t believe her while she was doing it, but I kept giving her the benefit of a doubt. But it was so obvious, and I just smiled and walked away eventually after a polite salutation. I took pictures all evening, and it was a lot of fun. The food was great, the company was good, and I’ll miss Northside next year. It’s been my second home since I was two, and going to a new church I think will be a great opportunity for me to grow.
But school beckons me, and I must go check out a book from the library. Allez viens!
04.14.08
[the lost young men]
ELLE Magazine wrote an article “The Lost Boy” detailing the conflict in the autism research community to focus on two theories for autism’s origin: vaccinations or environmental factors. This was the letter I sent to the Editor via email.
My younger brother Kyle will be turning fifteen next week, and we will soon be celebrating the twelve-year anniversary of his low-functioning autism diagnosis. “The Lost Boy” did an incredible job pointing out the conflict between researchers, scientists, and mothers over the origin of this terrible disorder, but left out a striking detail: there is a window of time for treatment with autism. After a child’s fifth birthday, the possibility of reversing the damage done mentally during regression is almost impossible. When my family was battling for my brother’s treatment in the mid-90’s, we did not have the treatments or therapies available today, the research was not taking place, and we had no where to turn. My brother, now a 6′1″ teenager, has the mental capabilities of a toddler, and we have no hope from new research focusing on early treatment and therapies for the newly diagnosed. The lost boys of the 1990’s have now became lost young men, and science has no answer for the afflicted and their families.
04.10.08
i’ll burn out the olympic torch
My boyfriend and I are doing well.
I’m stressed out with newspaper drama.
And we go to press on Friday morning.
Did I mention I have an Anatomy test on Friday morning?
And did I mention I can’t stay after school to work on the newspaper on Thursday afternoon?
Stress, stress, stress. I just wish I could curl up with Steinbeck and dream away the world in literature. Summer can’t come soon enough.
