02.27.08
R.I.P. Pale Skin
I’m a pale lady.
I know, I know, it’s a terrible thing to be in this 21st century-purge-your-french-fries-before-you-fix-your-mascara world, but I can’t help it. My mother is very fair skinned and my father isn’t exactly dark-complected, and I never really caught on to the idea of kicking a ball around at recess when I could just sit down and read a Laura Ingalls Wilder novel instead. Put all of these sunblock-free activities together and you get one fair eighteen-year-old girl who burns like cookies in the oven ten minutes too long.
It’s not so much that I minded being the only person in California who put on sunscreen before our day in Disneyland, but our vacation to Hawaii is going to be a bit different. Now, I do have some ladies accompanying me to the Big Island that are also pale goddesses, but my SPF 45 is going to run out pretty quick with all the time I know we’ll be spending on the beach.
Fortunately, though, I have bought all of my beach attire and have found an adorable bag that can handle the sand, but really, I can feel my pores already drying out and my skin peeling back. I don’t think I can avoid looking like that crimson crustacean. All hope is lost.
02.21.08
what i’ll do with my ice day tomorrow
For the second time in two weeks, “ice” is being screamed at me by men in ties and fancy titles on my six o’clock news. The last time the shameful word was uttered, I was out of school for three days and had nothing to do and no where to go. But really, I’m suffering from senioridus and lounging around the house all day in yoga pants has so much appeal. Taking a cue from my late night friend Dave, I’ve created a top ten list.
Top Ten Objectives to Complete on my Ice Day Tomorrow
1. Clean my room. I’m a fairly tidy person, and I enjoy seeing my room in order and everything in its proper place. But I haven’t really gotten down and dirty and cleaned out every nook, base board, and counter top. I can picture myself putting in some Armin van Burren and scrubbing my floors. Is that odd?
2. Watch Pride & Prejudice. The 2006 interpretation starring Kiera Knightley as our beloved Elisabeth Bennet is breathtaking, and I have yet to re-watch it after I had myself visited Kent this summer. It’s so relaxing and heart-warming, and the perfect movie to watch on a cold, lazy afternoon.
3. Read The Other Boleyn Girl. I need to finish that novel. Just because.
4. Make supper. I’m trying to find out how much I really know about cooking before I run away to college this August, so I’ve been making a few simple dishes for my family. I’ll try to make chicken casserole, peas, and biscuits tomorrow night. I baked my father a Wacky Cake (an egg-less German chocolate cake with caramel icing), so I won’t have to worry about dessert.
5. Donate $5 to Hillary Clinton’s campaign. In Wisconsin, Hillary was outspent 4 to 1 by Barack Obama, and I know that her last stand is going to be in Texas. If Hillary doesn’t fight it Obama’s momentum and win Texas, the nomination will be out of her grasp. I really, really would like to see a female President in the White House before I graduate college, and I hope to see her in that Oval Office. $5 is a small contribution, I know, but I want to hopefully be a part of her rally to the top.
6. Drink tea. ‘Nuff said.
7. Categorize my accessories. I’m kind of obsessed with handbags and I have too many shoes, and they’re all kind of…strewn about in my walk-in closet. I have all of my clothes color coded and organized by formality and function, but my accessories are all just kind of everywhere. I might donate a few purses to the DAV or let one of my girlfriends borrow them, but who knows. My purses are like my children.
8. Take a walk. I love being outside in the cold, and if I bundle up right, I think I would really enjoy taking a constable out of doors to clear my head. Some of the best moments in my prayer life ever have occurred while I’ve just been strolling around in God’s creation. In the stillness of nature I think is where anyone can hear His voice most clearly.
9. Take a look at the Oscar nominations list. I love the Oscars–the gowns, the shoes, the jewels, the glitz, and the glamor of the biggest night in Hollywood always makes me dream of a night like that for myself. I have a few films I’m really rooting for this year (Into the Wild, Atonement, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, and Michael Clayton), and I hope that the Academy doesn’t disappoint. Who knows, this year I might even dress up myself on Sunday night.
10. Read the newspaper. I love reading the newspaper, but I never seem to have time. I’ll make it on a lazy day like tomorrow. Being informed, to me, has always been something that I’ve always strived to be, and inky fingers after the last page is turned is a badge of honor.
I might not be able to sleep in tomorrow since I have so much to do. But fingers crossed for another ice day that I don’t have to make-up at the end of the year.
02.18.08
my life, according to books
Over the past three days of relaxing bliss, I’ve dived into three books that have demanded my time for various reasons.
The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory
At a very young age I fell in love with Medieval History. The knights, the chivalry, the intrigue, the lies and the scandal of that window of time have fascinated me, especially Queen Elizabeth I and the beloved Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine. The 700-and-something page novel focuses on Mary and Anne Boleyn and their lives revolving around King Henry VIII. The more I read, the more I notice the historical inconsistencies in the plot and the flaws in the story. But it is very, very well written, and I’m thrilled about the movie coming out next week. Natalie Portman will be the perfect Annamaria, even though I hate that the movie had to be ‘matured’ to be appealing. The central characters in the plot are actually fourteen and fifteen at the beginning of the story, but in the movie, they are implying 20 and 21, at least. Women, in truth, lost their innocence unfortunately when they were very young, and I wish the producers of the movie would have showed that element of the culture. Anne, the pretentious, manipulative woman that later was betrayed by the King himself, is a perfect characterization of how ambition, greed, and cunning can turn into something so suffocating it isn’t even realized until you must pay the ultimate price. It will be interesting to see how the movie follows the historical and fictional plot lines between these two powerful women.
The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel
I’ve been trying to get more into the Word lately and with my small group at Church, this concise and simple book about my beliefs is a wonderful tool to encourage me to surround myself in God’s presence. I think that I’m a very strong person in my theological beliefs and have a central core of principles that I absolutely believe in, but Lee Strobel re-states the obvious in such a way that I can just take a step back and recommit to what I believe. I love discussing it with the girls in my small group, and I feel like we’re all growing together and growing closer to the Lord in the process. Our leaders, Leah and Jacolyn, are so kind and loving, it’s always a great beginning to a week. I’m only on the third chapter, but I’m hungry for more of what Strobel can teach me. All Christians should stop for a moment, look at their lives, and re-evaluate their basic beliefs and why they have invested so much energy in upholding them. If you’re not sure why you’re doing something, then why do it? Strobel teaches at a level that anyone can understand, and it’s not immersed in scripture like so many other theological books are. Faith, love, and common sense. That’s what this book is all about.
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Due to being in an AP Literature class in high school and a teacher that is a touch ambitious in her teaching, I read chapters I-VI yesterday of Frankenstein (or the Modern Prometheus) by Mary Shelley. The weather was perfect yesterday for curling up with this demented, dreary book and diving into Victor’s poor, jaded heart. Shelley was so ahead of her time– body transplants, re-animation, and the concept of a scientific defying of death are themes that are still prevalent in society today. But the way she wrote this story of obsession, passion, and fury over defying the most simple of natural laws. Shelley makes me want to cry for her protagonist and she makes me love, love, love the compassion in her story, Elizabeth. Her warmth and compassion gives Victor an amount of love and depth that makes him even more appealing.
I’m reading about two hours a day, like a silly girl, and I love it. I haven’t read this much in years, and I’m finding a lot of joy and peace from it. I read so, so many books when I was 10, 11, 12…but then somehow life just caught up with me and I’ve only read a handful of books outside of my slow summer months. But reading brings a joy to my life that I can’t even explain. I’m just glad I have a literate boyfriend.
02.15.08
tragedy and valentine’s day
My Valentine’s Day was a pleasant, pleasant surprise. James is a fantastic boyfriend who gave me Parisian chocolate that actually has a fantastic back story. On Sunday my dad and I went out to lunch and then we had to run by Wal-Mart to pick up hot dog buns and I spotted these incredible Parisian chocolates that had the Eiffel Tower on it and were the same brand as these German chocolates that James had already bought me. I was so, so close to buying those chocolates that I can’t even begin to explain it. The only thing that stopped me was a little voice in my head going, “Lauren, what kind of loser buys pretty chocolates for themselves and hot dog buns? Way to SCREAM pathetic at yourself!”
So, I decided against the chocolates. But when I opened my eyes and saw that adorable, perfect bag of chocolates I think I like squealed and giggled and was ecstatic to see them. Then, James pulled out his laptop when we went to McDonald’s and plugged in a URL, pulling up a blog that had a website with a poem entitled “I Love Lauren.” I swear, I was on the verge of crying when I read it. It was so beautiful. He’s such an incredible writer, and I had been bugging him to write me a poem for like…ever. Then, we ran away to a park near his house and held each other under the stars. We laughed and snuggled and kissed and I fell in love with him, over and over and over again. I made him two dozen pink, heart-shaped sugar cookies with red sprinkles. He smiled and I think he’ll like them. I stole one to make sure they tasted good, and I approve. I’m such a baker.
But as soon as I was snuggling down under the covers yesterday with my iBook that I realized what really had gone on yesterday at Northern Illinois the tragedy that occurred. As I had posted earlier, I’m very interested school shootings, and I find it intriguing that in the late 90’s most of the school shootings occured on middle school and high school campuses, but as my generation ages, these school shootings are starting to appear on college campuses. The “Valentine Shooter” has been identified and took the lives of six, not including his own.
But that small detail, that number, is one of the things that fascinates me the most about school shootings. When the media reports the death toll of a school shooting they always, always, always first report the number of victims as the ‘big number’ in the headline, and then had a side note if the shooter took his or her own life. Why isn’t the shooter’s death reported in the number? Are we not to recognize the loss of life by someone so deranged as to resort to senseless violence? I think that the amount of hopelessness and despair that one would have to feel to place bullets in a chamber is much more tragic than the loss of innocent life, but that’s just a perspective.
But my Valentine’s Day was amazing, wonderful, and breathtaking. I love that boy so, so much, and it’s such a blessing that I’m a part of his life. I miss him, love him, and adore him. I wish I could scream it.
02.12.08
why can’t we just disappear and take our chances?
Ice days, ice days, oh roll me away.
Due to freak weather the past couple of years, Southwest Missouri has been stuck in an ice rut. Last year in January my family lost power for 13 days, and thankfully, we haven’t had the same misfortune two years in a row. The roads are so bad, unfortunately, many people can’t get out of their homes and about 5,000 people are without power. Our R-12 school district closed school two days in a row and all indicators are pointing towards another day out of school tomorrow. But it’s wonderful, really. All these days out of school are days that over a hundred thousand students and faculty will have to make-up, but not me. Oh no. The joys of being a senior are finally enveloping me and I can see why the end of this year is rapidly coming closer.
I’ll be out of school almost two weeks before my freshman little brother.
Oh snap!
But, really. My ice days haven’t been that much of a waste. I finally finished reading The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. That 400,000 word monster was a fabulous read and I loved how he tied every lose end in the last twenty pages and resolved every plot point. I fell in love with the fictional town of Kingsbridge and its fairy-tale cathedral, but I’m sure I won’t forget those main characters any time soon. Every book I’ll read here-after, though, are going to look very short in comparison to that 937 page paperback. Oh well, I enjoyed it very much. Laying next to me right now is Innocent Traitor by Alison Weir, and I’m not as excited about that book as I was about The Pillars of the Earth. But it’ll be a good book as I’m letting the blackberry cobbler bake.
Speaking of cobblers, I baked a lot yesterday and today. I made four dozen sugar cookies yesterday (I’ll provide pictures on Thursday) and today I’ve already started prepping my blackberries for a cobbler that will be completed this afternoon. When I get bored I read and bake, and ice days are perfect for that behavior. James is without of power and I’m stuck in my house, so its not like I have anything better to do, really.
But James has got me hooked on this band. PlayRadioPlay! reminds me so, so much of Death Cab for Cutie, but honestly, I like PRP much better. I’m so biased if a band can infuse some electronica into their genre, and PRP seems to have mastered the mashing of indie and electronica with smooth vocals and the occasional acoustic track. It’s really, really great ice day music…soothing, slow, and reflective.
Kind of like today.
02.09.08
[unexplained]
Every since April 20, 1999, I have been obsessed with school shootings. The idea that someone so close to my age, so restricted, so under the restraints of society can create such chaos, mayhem, and destruction has been fascinating. As children and young adults we seem so powerless to create our own destinies, and I’ve always placed the idea of creating such a statement intriguing beyond description.
I’ve written papers, essays, read books, watched movies, and even thought about taking a gun into my own hands more than once, but every single time I see one of these horrific acts in play a young man or boy takes center stage. I was always so envious of their confidence and lack of immersion in reality and annoyed by the fact that every single time a boy would get all the attention in the end.
But I wasn’t the only one taking notice of the fact that every time a tragedy of a school shooting would occur the gun was in the hand of a male. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of articles have been written by people trying to explain away the concept of dozens of adolescents world-wide that take their revenge in the form of bullets and fear. The youngest of these was Andrew Golden who at age 11 shot 6 students on March 24, 1998 in the nearly-forgotten school shooting in Jonesboro, Arkansas. All of the research conducted by psychologists world wide focused on the idea that young men were the only individuals capable of random, senseless violence taken out on their peers.
But the actions of today turned the tables.
This morning in Baton Rouge, Louisana a female nursing student opened fire in a classroom composed of her peers. Two students fellow female students were murdered by the young woman and then she turned the gun on herself. The most stunning thing about this school shooting was the fact that it was totally unexpected. Campus security has been programmed senselessly to focus on outer ‘indicators’ that might single out a student as a threat because of Virginia Tech and Columbine. We try to explain away and rationalize the idea of murder on such a huge scale by pointing the finger to video games, bullying, or even music, but what can this school shooting be blamed on? They called her fat? They hated her and wouldn’t accept her into her social group?
The research on school shootings has only focused on males as the subjects. What do we know about female school shooters? What can we compare the Baton Rouge killer to? How can we explain this violence away?
We can’t.
I pray for the families who suffered a loss today and for all the students at Louisiana Technical College. I can’t imagine trying to learn in a place where something that horrendous occurred. But I truly, truly hope that psychologists won’t try to explain this tragedy away with their senseless babble about music or video games or “behavior issues.”
Something things just can’t be explained.
02.08.08
the etiquette infraction
Oh my gosh, I have been so, so busy lately. I can’t stand having this whole entire responsible senior year mindset. My go-to-press deadline for Herald3, my school newspaper, was today, and I have been so crazy busy. I’m the Editor-in-Chief of my newspaper and I have a staff of ten people that seem to be either too lazy or too incompetent to actually get any work done. I’m not saying that really, but, you know. I just get frustrated when I have to do layouts, rewrite every story I’m handed, and have to beg people to say after school and help me make corrections to copy.
Ughz.
But, Romney did ’suspend’ his campaign today and through out all the chaos I’ve been able to spend a bit of quality time with James over the last couple of days. The boy keeps me sane, really, and I’m so glad that he’s a part of my life. But the entire idea of me striving for ‘academic excellence’ isn’t really being all that appealing. In Springfield Public Schools GPA, class rank, and grades are set at the end of the first semester of your senior year. That means that the second semester means nothing and all you’re required to do to graduate is pass all of your required classes and sometimes show up to school. But, unfortunately, my mother teaches at where I go to school and skipping isn’t really an option. But academic rigor isn’t exactly on my mind.
I was twelfth in my senior class and have been already accepted to the university of my dreams. I’m not worried about anything anymore but all of my silly extra circular activities and reading a lot of fiction.
James just had a lip stretch. I guess I should pay attention to him now.
02.02.08
A cold night downtown
I was initially planning on going to watch The Vagina Monologues in honor and support for VDAY. I’m a huge supporter of women’s rights and I had never had the opportunity to watch the performance in person, but alas, my feminist escort Amber had a good friend who was performing at an independent theater called 2nd stage downtown. I was in, of course, when Amber proposed the idea of not going to the Vagina Monologues and my alternative was stay at home and look cute for my parents. But the friend that Amber was going to see at 2nd stage was part of a dance company that was shockingly unique and talented.
Evolution Dance Company places a strong emphasis on bellydancing and what they call infusion, a mixture of various types of traditional bellydancing and contemporary dance. The four ladies interacted on stage for twenty minutes. The first was a woman who was blond, seemed to be in her mid 30s, and had a presence that was irresistible. My knowledge of dance is MTV-based and limited at best, but I could see enough to know that she was talented and confident in her abilities. The next was the biggest girl of the group, blond, in her mid to early twenties and seemingly the least confident of the four. I watched her more for her ability to move a larger than average body the way that she does. I’m not the thinnest lady around, and I was amazed at how she used her curves beautifully.
The next lady was Brittany, Amber’s friend, and was obviously the best of the four. She did a 20s inspired chair dance that was mesmerizing, and being a bigger girl herself as well, it was incredible to see the 18,19, 20-something crowd of men that were in the chairs sit up and take notice of the way she moved. She had every set of eyes on her in the room, and I felt envious of her confidence and presence with her own body.
The next, Dani, another one of my acquaintances and Amber’s friend, did a stylized dance to the main theme from Interview with the Vampire. She was much more fluid with her movements and less overt, but definitely just as captivating.
I enjoyed the performance and the evening out and about downtown. But the ladies that I watched for 27 minutes had a confidence in themselves that is rare and surprising to see. They had over their own bodies that made them seem powerful and captivating, and I envy their ability to look so sure in every movement, every moment. Maybe I’ll take a few bellydancing classes when I’m at Mizzou. Who knows.
But I’m still at Amber’s, and we’re watching the Jim Bakker Show. I’ll talk to you later.
